.:. in and out of season .:.

April 27, 2008

Filed under: inspiration — Ellen @ 8:17 pm

“Tonight, my knees will bow to the God that gave her to me…and the God who took her from me. The God who loves to bloom where death reigned. We welcome you, Lord. Come and make it beautiful again.

Sweet Audrey-blossom. You captured us all.”


please… go to this blog, and see/read the power of faith to carry through tragedy.  



I can’t get enough of these words.  they are true.  


wish i had my camera nearby… April 25, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ellen @ 5:52 am
Tags: , ,

Nat and I are sitting here at my art table putting magnets and writing on our save the dates.  i love them, and i am so excited to finally get them sent out.  He is a champ at cutting the magnet strips out in perfect rectangles, and I love that he will sit here and do this with me.  We’re watching The Ultimate Gift, and so far, I really like it.

It is good.  This makes me dream of future evenings in our cozy apartment with my craft bins spread out all over the floor — maybe the table, but it probably won’t be big enough just yet – – with James Taylor playing, maybe a candle or two, maybe tea, or maybe glasses of wine.  Maybe I’m just a big romantic dreamer.  I just figure, if it’s this good now… how can it not be amazing?

That’s all I have for tonight.  I can’t wait.  


To The States! April 19, 2008

Filed under: life at ventana — Ellen @ 5:56 pm

We’re going to San Diego again today to drop off Ben Palm and to visit the dentist again for an x-ray.  [I’m getting fitted for a night guard because I grind my teeth which Dr. Tim Collins (nicest dentist I’ve ever heard of) believes contribute to migraines.]  He’s also throwing professional whitening gel in there, too, because it works very well inside the night guard, and again, he’s wonderful.  

Yesterday was a hard one. My “flight or flight” tendencies kicked in simultaneously, so I did both.  In all truth, I am tired and weary.  Robin came last weekend to visit, and it was wonderful – such a relief – to talk with someone so understanding and genuine, who is my age, who is from home, and who I adore with all of my heart.  It also made me so homesick, when she left, and also so grateful for the girls, who vacuumed my room, set up her bed, made us breakfast, and were, as always, gracious and fantastic.  Have I ever mentioned that I love them?

Anyway, we’re leaving now.  I heard the coolest worship song yesterday… I want to keep the lyrics in my heart today:

I want to sit at your feet 
drink from the cup in your hand 
lay back against you and breathe
feel your heartbeat 
This love is so deep 
It’s more than I can stand 
I melt in your peace, 

It’s overwhelming  


with love,



i welcome the sun, the clouds and rain

Filed under: life at ventana — Ellen @ 4:51 am

the wind that sweeps the ground clean and let’s the sun shine again

this is the most magnificent life has ever been

here is heaven and earth

and the brilliant sky in between.

blessed is this life and i’m going to celebrate being alive.


= )  


i don’t know…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ellen @ 1:26 am

i really don’t.  


i love the girls. 


… that’s about all that counts for this, sometimes. 



“She’s Been Welcomed Home” April 17, 2008

Filed under: for a friend — Ellen @ 9:29 pm
Tags: ,

a cup blowing in the wind, a damaged porcelain mattress and a fog

that could not escape the tides of fear

so they gently dangled, and they curved in the mountains exhales

peach with imperfection, and a yielding in her glass sheer.

it was the skin, washed with absence, and a strawberry paint

which conquered the evil appeal of courageous shields, and

she was elegant, a canvas of shapes and sidewalks

a vase with pure chandelier light,

contagious was this bravery;

moments would believe in her distant shore, in her rain

sail away, sail away, submerge for cylinders of grace

unique in blessing, discouraged in tragedy

but beautiful in humanity, in love, and she would fight, she would pull swords

of mercy, from the palms of her leading Lord…

to be standing at shore, with her significant song

whom is adored, whom is explored, whose words would

tear down the shields of fear, of countless amber tears

i cannot save your sadness, but i will try

i cannot remove your mourn, but He shall be effortlessly divine.

travel to the gentle house, walk with the free

eliminate the weighing stones nailed to your soul

for my friend, for your sadness,

she’s been welcomed home.



my friend amy is running the boston marathon this weekend.  i have an entire folder of poems and letters written by her.  this one is my favorite, written sometime shortly after we met, which is also shortly after the death of my friend laurie.  i remember bursting into tears upon reading this, and it has remained one of my favorites because of the depth of encouragement and understanding it contains.  obviously it has nothing to do with running – but everything to do with an example of how beautifully, majestically talented this girl is.  


i love you, my friend.

now, run.


Unexpected “day off” April 5, 2008

Filed under: life at ventana — Ellen @ 8:27 pm
Tags: , ,

The students were all going to go hike to a waterfall, but that got complicated and fell through, and in the meeting about what to do about them, Doug gave Nat and I a day to check out a little bit and hang out together.  So, we’re sitting in my “art studio” in the newer trailer where I have a table with all of my craft stuff, going through a lengthy list of to-do’s:


  • Save the Dates: Flickr?  Buy/have shipped
  • Kaiser Insurance: Gynecology/preventative stuff covered?
  • Addresses –> label document: From facebook msg., mom’s email, Fondells…
  • Location of wedding: dancing @ church, or no? move to park?  Herrick Lake?
  • Plane tickets home: on the 7th or 8th?  Greg & Melissa’s wedding?
  • Austyn tickets –> wedding from Alaska: too expensive? 
  • Bridesmaids: dresses, delegate for help
  • Honeymoon: location, transportation, reservations… [catchy.]
  • Summer plans for Nat: live? work? car?
I say “day off” because it feels like a lot of work… but it is a day off, because normally we would have to squeeze all these conversations and decisions in during a van ride, or a meal, or in passing, or during an evening when we could be hanging out in our houses with the students.  i’m glad for the time to get down to business-y things and focus on what lies ahead.  Praying that we won’t get too hung up on our own plans, though, and will leave room for changes of plans, God’s timing and provision, and wherever the wind may lead us.
this is the pile of beauty that arrived in a fifteen pound package from my mom last week… amazing.  way too much stuff to work with on my floor, though. hence, the “art studio.”  = )
 Thanks, mom!
be alive today.