sun. 1 mile
mon. 1.2
tues. 1.4
weds. 1.7
thurs. 2 miles
fri. 1.5
sat. 2.5
sun. 2.6
mon. 2.7
tues. 3 miles
weds. 2.5
thurs. 1.5
fri. 3.7
sat. Rest
sun. Race Day!
we shall certainly see…
“rubberducky dependencies” November 26, 2008
…the title of a a new update available for one of my computer’s applications. what on earth…?
thanksgiving chapel this morning – very good. i should not be on the internet right now, but lately am in the mood to type, write, and express, so here i am.
three things i am grateful for specifically this year, and they are obvious and i say them all the time, and true:
nat.
his kindness. his patience with me. his love for everyone around him. how carefully he has formulated a budget for us that is well within our means and includes special funds for tithing, dates, travel, and fun money. how he says “hey beautiful” with relief in his voice whenever i am calling, or when he leaves a message. i am grateful for how he serves me, helps me, and for how he inspires me to live. i am grateful that we live together now and share everything.
chicago.
being home again. having friends be neighbors and neighbors, friends.
starbucks.
having a job, and extremely lucky to like it. i’m grateful for Guy and the humor and hard-working spirits of my coworkers. i am grateful for health insurance.
Remember God’s bounty in the year. String the pearls of His favor.
Hide the dark parts, except so far as they are breaking out in light! Give this one day to thanks, to joy, to gratitude!
~Henry Ward Beecher
happy thanksgiving, friends.
hungrily,
el
living breathing tornado November 26, 2008
was me today at work. it seemed that everything i touched either broke, fell, exploded, spilled or dropped out of my hands. i dropped customers’ change repeatedly, forgot whether or not they said they wanted cream, thoroughly doused Guy with whipped cream as i walked past him and pushed the handle for no reason, slipped and almost crashed into the pastry case on a spill i had made several minutes earlier… ohhhh man. people kept telling me i looked pale, and this flu thing did reappear this morning, so i don’t doubt i did look a little pale. there was nothing to do but laugh, and luckily everyone got a real kick out of my mishap of a morning.
they also got a REAL kick out of the turkey that i drew on the coffee brewer holding our thanksgiving blend a few days ago, because Guy walked by and said, “hey, that’s a great turkey, can i have you draw a few more?” so… my turkey was all over the place in our store. today, wayne says, in this exasperated voice in passing to Devon, “Ok, WHO drew that turkey!? that is the worst turkey I’ve ever seen. it has four legs, no wings, no beak, and the feathers do not look like that on a turkey.” oh we laughed so hard at that one, because he thought for sure it couldn’t have been me and was soo embarrassed and then i pointed out all the other hand-drawn turkeys around us, and they were all equally beak/wing/talent-free.
so i came home, brought some oatmeal bread over to judy that i baked last night, played the piano at north park for a while, put gas in the car, and am going to lay here in bed until nat comes home. we are going to dawson for thanksgiving tomorrow, and i am excited for a road trip with new playlists, an old buick, and her:
strolling down memory lane November 19, 2008
at a snail’s pace. it’s all right, slow and steady has won me another photo book for only the cost of shipping. it is a collection of photos of nat and i that aren’t wedding photos. from north park, ventana, here, and everywhere in between. i have loved designing these so much that i think i could do it all day. if you ever want to buy a photo book but don’t want to go through all of your pictures and arrange them, i will!
AND…. our wedding-photo-coffee-table-book-of-america is here! oh my goodness. it is just perfect in every way, and i will not lie. i have examined it, front to back, at least 15 times since it came on Monday night. i see something new every time, and remember something new… and thinking of that day at all always gives me the happiest feeling. austyn elizabeth ford is beyond talented at photography – i always say this, but her work is like art. the images are so deep and color-rich and vibrant.
i went over to the piano practice rooms at north park after a delicious breakfast at tre kronor with judy and stacey, and what do you know – out came a new little song. just a very little one. i felt very … sheepish, almost, sitting there at the piano wishing i could just be a “songwriter” in the normal sense that everyone seems to be. songs are few and far between in my world. so, to get the feel for it again, i started singing one of my journal entries from a few days ago. a few phrases stuck out to me in particular, so i kept those, and then added on just a little bit, and there it is. i want to record it with the piano, violin and the melodica (a tiny keyboard that you blow into through a tube to play. sounds very french – kind of like an accordian) because it has that slightly unique sound to it that very short songs do sometimes. i ended up in those practice rooms again after a run in the neighborhood, and i think i will go back again today. still looking all over craigslist for a piano. i know the perfect one will pop up sometime, and we will hire ourselves a truck and go get it. i can’t wait. i will move the papa san chair somewhere else – or to the alley – and there it will sit, for me to play whenever i want. it sounds like such a luxury to me.
i am now looking up possible allergens that can cause migraine headaches… i’m thinking maybe i’m allergic to soy, a little bit… besides chocolate which i already know gives me headaches sometimes, it’s the only thing i can think of that could be causing these headaches. had another one today… and i get a vanilla soy latte almost every time i work… so who knows. i suppose it could be caffeine, too.. but i drink caffeine far more often than i get migraines. ho hum.
i’m going to putter and pick up a little bit around here, don my spandos, and hit the pavement.
and i was thinking earlier this morning that i really miss being “Huck” here:
top of the morning to you. November 17, 2008
mmmm….. not working this morning.
once again a headache has gotten me up and out of bed. if you ever get migraines, you might know how sometimes you want to lay down in the dark with a cold pack, and sometimes you have to get up and move a little. for me, even if i just move to the couch and sit here, it’s better. nat is in the shower and my christmas playlist is playing. friday is at her picture-perfect behavior because she’s been by herself all night, so she’s sweet and needy for affection. how i picture (dream) of her being when she’s a lazy old cat.
we went to college life yesterday after i worked all day. it was wonderful wonderful….. hearing judy speak is always my favorite, because she is a friend, and her words are familiar. it feels like church that you grew up in. as a speaker, i am always astounded at the gift God has given her to pass on wisdom, love and truth to people. she spoke about call and conviction, and about ‘expanding your repertoire of “feeling God” emotions so that it includes conviction. Correction, discipline, etc… That when we are in a time where we are just not “feeling God” that perhaps we are too narrow-minded in what that would feel like, because when we feel led to do even the smallest act of kindness, or to not sin – even in the tiniest instance – or when we feel bad about a sin we have committed, that is “feeling God” and it happens a lot.
‘The Holy Spirit is going to blow where it wills, and it will not always be to lead you into a spirit of worship or contentment or love or to be comfortable, but sometimes it will lead you to guilt and conviction and correction.’
just good stuff.
i have been going through all of our photos because i’m making a photo album book online, and i have rediscovered some really really great ones like this one on nat’s computer – he wrote “i love you ellen” in the snow while walking alone through campus one night when we were broken up a couple of years ago:
and the first photo ever taken of nat and i: i can really see the sure signs of a future marriage, can’t you?
and this one, when nat flew in to san francisco from alaska one summer and we took the bus back to chicago together:
and these ones, which will always go down in history as one of our best dates:
“our memories,” joseph says, “are like a river cut off from the ocean. with time they will slowly dry out in the sun, and so we drink and drink and drink and we can never have our fill.”
- dinaw mengestu from “the beautiful things that heaven bears.”
:thursday:november thirteenth: November 13, 2008
it is good beyond good to be back in a place where there are old friends around. tuesday night potluck/progressive dinners will continue, i hope.
i am getting so excited for our wedding photo book to come in the mail soon! i thought it was supposed to be this week, but i looked again, and the processing time is 4-6 days or so, and then shipping takes 4-6 days, so it looks like it will be next week.
people at work keep saying things like “you like kids? i hate kids.” ”kids are so gross.” no one i know has ever said the phrase “i hate kids” in my presence before in my life, i don’t think, and i just chuckle… these are some of the nicest people in the world – to other adults exclusively, I guess – and i think, how on EARTH can you hate “kids“? like they aren’t all different, and have the same weird, “gross” things about them. this is usually in reference to the kids who come through our Starbucks, who look like adorable little people in designer outdoor brand names, and are usually happy and well behaved. huh. my love for children tends to border on obsessive, so i guess it takes all kinds. i bet someday my coworkers will have babies, and everything will change.
i miss hanging all of my laundry outside to dry in the mexican sun. the stiffness of my jeans, and how crisp everything felt…
i am working on making a pincushion similar to this one. don’t remind me that i can’t quite sew yet. girlfriend is gonna get her a tutor, and will learn.
arms flapping. November 11, 2008
This young guy came up to the counter today, half-flapping, half-dancing his arms up and down, I suppose to the “beat” of the jazz piano music playing, and ordered a grande coffee. I said ok, and would you like to try a sample of our gingersnap latte? [sitting in front of us on a platter].
“NO. I DON’T LIKE CREAM AND SUGAR IN MY COFFEE.” [arms flapping, head bobbing to the beat.]
“Ok! Well, that’s all right. But I will say, the samples are really good. Are you sure?”
“WELL MAYBE IF YOU ASK ME REEEALLL PRETTY LIKE.”
[With a look of amusement] “Ok. Would you like to try a gingersnap latte?”
“HAHAHAHA, HA!
NO!”
[With a swagger as he swoops up his coffee and dances away from the counter]
Three Thirty November 7, 2008
Is what time I woke up for my first opening shift. I loved it. I am done with my work day, having already contributed to our marriage monetarily and brought home a little Thanksgiving blend.
I have been lazy with keeping up our apartment, and today I am going to get back on that. It just gets cluttery, and we get busy, and neither of us are freaky about neatness, but yet I want it to be clean and orderly and ready for guests at a moments notice.
Tonight I think we may have some people over for chili, and then I think we have The Assassination of Jesse James to watch as well, which I believe has Brad Pitt in it. Oh Brangelina, how we love you two. Can you imagine if those two were Christians? Monumental influence and resources… We just admire them because they have been changed by love, and are collecting children from all over to raise well, and consistently donating an incredible amount of time and money and voice to the world.
yeah yeah yeah. mostly people just roll their eyes and laugh at my love for them, recalling Angelina’s rocky past and the “vial of blood” etc… I say the rocky past makes it all the more sweeter.
And… I will step off of the celebrity soap box now.
Onward to beating laziness via cleaning.
Whatever Our Differences… November 5, 2008
I went to sleep last night talking a mile a minute to my sleepy husband about all of my thoughts, recaps, reactions and responses to yesterday. We had a twenty-three hour day yesterday, having woken up at 4 to be polling place administrators all day, and then deciding very last minute, at the coaxing of Brent, to go along with them to the rally.
Oh yes, and I should also add, for the sake of honesty, that neither Nat nor I voted. I, thinking that I was in the right precinct/ward even though we moved, discovered too late that I was wrong, plus my name change is still in a weird in-between stage, and Nat I think just forgot, or was misinformed about the dates.
I have really been back and forth on this one, though. I thoroughly disliked McCain’s demeanor in the debates, based on what I saw as a lack of character, dignity, and an inability to guard his tongue. (Obviously Sir Biden may share the latter weakness, but in a more lovable way – it seems.) Plus, I was bewildered about his policies, having gathered that whatever he thought he was, he knew he was against Obama, and made that crystal clear.
I was drawn to Obama’s passion for the lower and middle class, to his charisma, to his economical stance, and the idea of universal health coverage. I was interested to discover that both he and McCain supported the death penalty, and are similar when it comes to illegal immigration.
And then the issue of abortion came up, and I, never to view this as a make-or-break for me (in the very simplified pro-life/pro-choice regard) was suddenly very disturbed. Here are some quotes from The Public Discource (and I would recommend the entire article) that I read a while ago…
Barack Obama is the most extreme pro-abortion candidate ever to seek the office of President of the United States. He is the most extreme pro-abortion member of the United States Senate. Indeed, he is the most extreme pro-abortion legislator ever to serve in either house of the United States Congress.
He has promised to sign the Freedom of Choice Act (known as FOCA). This proposed legislation would create a federally guaranteed “fundamental right” to abortion through all nine months of pregnancy, including, as Cardinal Justin Rigali of Philadelphia has noted in a statement condemning the proposed Act, “a right to abort a fully developed child in the final weeks for undefined ‘health’ reasons.” In essence, FOCA would abolish virtually every existing state and federal limitation on abortion, including parental consent and notification laws for minors, state and federal funding restrictions on abortion, and conscience protections for pro-life citizens working in the health-care industry-protections against being forced to participate in the practice of abortion or else lose their jobs.
Obama, unlike even many “pro-choice” legislators, opposed the ban on partial-birth abortions when he served in the Illinois legislature and condemned the Supreme Court decision that upheld legislation banning this heinous practice. He has referred to a baby conceived inadvertently by a young woman as a “punishment” that she should not endure.
Appallingly, he wishes to strip federal funding from pro-life crisis pregnancy centers that provide alternatives to abortion for pregnant women in need. There is certainly nothing “pro-choice” about that.
Senator Obama, despite the urging of pro-life members of his own party, has not endorsed or offered support for the Pregnant Women Support Act, the signature bill of Democrats for Life, meant to reduce abortions by providing assistance for women facing crisis pregnancies. In fact, Obama has opposed key provisions of the Act, including providing coverage of unborn children in the State Children’s Health Insurance Program (S-CHIP), and informed consent for women about the effects of abortion and the gestational age of their child.
In an act of breathtaking injustice which the Obama campaign lied about until critics produced documentary proof of what he had done, as an Illinois state senator Obama opposed legislation to protect children who are born alive, either as a result of an abortionist’s unsuccessful effort to kill them in the womb, or by the deliberate delivery of the baby prior to viability.
Ok, that is enough… the rest can be read on the website, and the blue underlined words are links that can’t be followed from my blog, but are worth checking out as well. People describe his “pro-choice stance on abortion” as “liberal” and I can’t help but think “murderous” a better word. I am surprised by his extremity on this point, and it makes me speculate about why on earth he would be so very passionate about it.
Back to yesterday… we went to the rally, and got there and into the crowd a few minutes before they announced that Obama had won Virginia. I HAD to go to the bathroom, so we ran to the porta potties, and I will never forget bursting out of that smelly thing and sprinting back toward our friends as the crowd went crazy and the announcer said, “BARACK OBAMA IS THE FORTY-FOURTH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!” We were so caught up in all of the excitement, everyone around us was screaming, hugging, high-fiving… The vast diversity of the crowd was striking… lots of different skin, turbans, dreads, everything… Nat lifted me onto his shoulders so I could see and take pictures. It was astounding to be part of such an overjoyed, relieved, HOPEful blend of a crowd. It felt HUGE, breathtaking, of herculean importance, to be there experiencing it. I should get out a thesaurus to help me communicate.
I was deeply impressed with McCain’s concession speech. It was dignified, gracious, noble and well-spoken.
“I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him but offering our next president our goodwill and earnest effort to find ways to come together.”
I covered my ears when everyone booed Sarah Palin. I felt like she could hear it, and I didn’t like it. Unqualified, irritating, fine… I think maybe she should just stick to Alaska and being a good mom to her kids, and I feel sorry for her.
And in all of the excitement and joy around us I also felt a little wary. I hope that he is a good president. I whispered a little prayer that God would help him, that all of this hope that people are feeling would be realized in changing of things that truly need it, that I was glad that this country has come so far to have someone who isn’t white be our leader…
It felt like a parade, walking back. Thousands upon thousands of people in the streets cheering crazily. It wasn’t the messy, maybe-a-little-scary crowd that it could have been with so many people.
We will see, as always. And… although a little wary of, I am hopeful too, for Barack Obama . I am relieved that my true hope, trust and faith is in the Lord, who is the Healer, who cares for people of all kinds, who loved us first, and who alone can save us.
Hopefully,
Ellen
Oh! and here is another great article: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life_article.php?id=7630
