“Tonight, my knees will bow to the God that gave her to me…and the God who took her from me. The God who loves to bloom where death reigned. We welcome you, Lord. Come and make it beautiful again.
Sweet Audrey-blossom. You captured us all.”
please… go to this blog, and see/read the power of faith to carry through tragedy.
http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/
I can’t get enough of these words. they are true.
Nat and I are sitting here at my art table putting magnets and writing on our save the dates. i love them, and i am so excited to finally get them sent out. He is a champ at cutting the magnet strips out in perfect rectangles, and I love that he will sit here and do this with me. We’re watching The Ultimate Gift, and so far, I really like it.
It is good. This makes me dream of future evenings in our cozy apartment with my craft bins spread out all over the floor — maybe the table, but it probably won’t be big enough just yet – - with James Taylor playing, maybe a candle or two, maybe tea, or maybe glasses of wine. Maybe I’m just a big romantic dreamer. I just figure, if it’s this good now… how can it not be amazing?
That’s all I have for tonight. I can’t wait.
We’re going to San Diego again today to drop off Ben Palm and to visit the dentist again for an x-ray. [I'm getting fitted for a night guard because I grind my teeth which Dr. Tim Collins (nicest dentist I've ever heard of) believes contribute to migraines.] He’s also throwing professional whitening gel in there, too, because it works very well inside the night guard, and again, he’s wonderful.
Yesterday was a hard one. My “flight or flight” tendencies kicked in simultaneously, so I did both. In all truth, I am tired and weary. Robin came last weekend to visit, and it was wonderful – such a relief – to talk with someone so understanding and genuine, who is my age, who is from home, and who I adore with all of my heart. It also made me so homesick, when she left, and also so grateful for the girls, who vacuumed my room, set up her bed, made us breakfast, and were, as always, gracious and fantastic. Have I ever mentioned that I love them?
Anyway, we’re leaving now. I heard the coolest worship song yesterday… I want to keep the lyrics in my heart today:
I want to sit at your feet
drink from the cup in your hand
lay back against you and breathe
feel your heartbeat
This love is so deep
It’s more than I can stand
I melt in your peace,
It’s overwhelming
with love,
ellen
the wind that sweeps the ground clean and let’s the sun shine again
this is the most magnificent life has ever been
here is heaven and earth
and the brilliant sky in between.
blessed is this life and i’m going to celebrate being alive.
= )
i really don’t.
i love the girls.
… that’s about all that counts for this, sometimes.
a cup blowing in the wind, a damaged porcelain mattress and a fog
that could not escape the tides of fear
so they gently dangled, and they curved in the mountains exhales
peach with imperfection, and a yielding in her glass sheer.
it was the skin, washed with absence, and a strawberry paint
which conquered the evil appeal of courageous shields, and
she was elegant, a canvas of shapes and sidewalks
a vase with pure chandelier light,
contagious was this bravery;
moments would believe in her distant shore, in her rain
sail away, sail away, submerge for cylinders of grace
unique in blessing, discouraged in tragedy
but beautiful in humanity, in love, and she would fight, she would pull swords
of mercy, from the palms of her leading Lord…
to be standing at shore, with her significant song
whom is adored, whom is explored, whose words would
tear down the shields of fear, of countless amber tears
i cannot save your sadness, but i will try
i cannot remove your mourn, but He shall be effortlessly divine.
travel to the gentle house, walk with the free
eliminate the weighing stones nailed to your soul
for my friend, for your sadness,
she’s been welcomed home.
my friend amy is running the boston marathon this weekend. i have an entire folder of poems and letters written by her. this one is my favorite, written sometime shortly after we met, which is also shortly after the death of my friend laurie. i remember bursting into tears upon reading this, and it has remained one of my favorites because of the depth of encouragement and understanding it contains. obviously it has nothing to do with running – but everything to do with an example of how beautifully, majestically talented this girl is.
i love you, my friend.
now, run.
The students were all going to go hike to a waterfall, but that got complicated and fell through, and in the meeting about what to do about them, Doug gave Nat and I a day to check out a little bit and hang out together. So, we’re sitting in my “art studio” in the newer trailer where I have a table with all of my craft stuff, going through a lengthy list of to-do’s:
hi.
i have been devotedly reading several new blogs i have found from skipping link to link. i am learning from them, and of course – as always – i am inspired by them, to begin a new one of my own. it seems like there are a lot of new beginnings in my life lately, and i want to remember them, as they are, in the future. typing is so fast – my thoughts are down almost as i think them, and i love that. i’m excited. i love the layout and design of this blog, and i found this pretty photo that mary took at camp for the header…… it will be good.
today i took a minute to stand still and look at the three rows of laundry i had just hung up behind our (very nice, very spacious!) trailer. it was sunny and warm, the mountains looked all misty, and the dirt roads trailed in the background, and the air smelled like good clean soap. it was a calm moment, and happy, and i thanked God for the smells of small blessings like clean clothes and sunshine and dirt roads.
*ellen – don’t forget how much you love having a clothesline instead of a dryer!
i asked liz to come into my room tonight because i wanted to talk to her for a little bit. i had been feeling like something was going on in her heart lately, and i have been waiting patiently, not wanting to push her, to see if anything came of it… until tonight when i decided to just ask. there is a lot going on in that beautiful soul, and i regret that i didn’t ask about it sooner. we sat on my bed and talked for almost three hours about Ventana, the guys, the girls, college, roommates, what to bring… it was great.
whenever i get the chance to really just talk with one of them, i realize so gratefully how much i love it here, and how much i love these four girls. it is more than i know how to express, most of the time, and i worry that i am not giving them enough, not showing them enough, not telling them enough, etc. We only have eight more weeks, and i want to commit myself right this moment to absolute devotion with them. They are a treasure, and they are each precious and beautiful, and they are here for a perfect reason, designed by our Father, who has magnificent plans for them. Here they are, in my care, just for this one year, and just for a little while longer. Lord- make me a servant to them. Give me words of encouragement and truth to pass on. Refine us all with your fire so that when we emerge our faith – of more value than gold – may be pure and strong and true [1 Peter].
Whew. He is good.
It’s time for bed!
